( it was a song intended to be for someone in particular, but the more i read it the more i realize its somthing deeper than that.)
lets just disappear
and hold onto the want and need
to find ourselves
take everything away
just to find whats been
missing all along
its somthing that we both know
its somthing that should work in theory
so take care of all your momentary shit
and drop it all to find it all
ive never done this before
its never even been a thought
but now its all i think about
so push all plans and dreams aside
drop all your attachments
pull up the anchor and unfurl the sails
dont think about it like you know we both do
because that thought process
is going to hold us down
lets help the people we know best
by helping those we didnt know exist
lets just disappear
and hold onto the want and need
to find ourselves
just go on and take a chance
dont think about it just act...
i just want to disappear
i just want to disappear
i just want to disappear
lets just disappear
and hold on to this
gutwrenching desire to find ....
ourselves...
Monday, December 14, 2009
dear abby . by eric riggan, played by "a simple misunderstanding"
this is a song that eric riggan wrote, one or two years later we met up and began writing music together he played the guitar and i played harmonica. this one turned out to be one of our favorites
Dear Abby, dear Angie, dear Amber, or Amanda
or whatever your name happens to be,
I write you this letter as a sign of my devotion
to whatever might become of you and me
please tell me that I'm not just being optimistic
I've just got a lot of questions on my mind
but don't be scared, just read on: I don't think that I'm creepy
I just took to many hits back in my prime
I'm not being alruistic, there's just not much truth today
and it seems like the sky is getting darker with every passing day.
(Chorus)
I'm hoping that this letter finds you well enough to think about it.
I know it's kind of silly, but I promise that you won't regret it.
It's alright if this thing ends before it even starts
but be aware I'm out for one more girl to break my heart.
I'm funny, I'm sexy, I'm nice, and I'm in college
but don't let that put you off to me
don't be paranoid, I only stalked that one girl
for the money that she never gave to me
I'm not in over my head; the water's barely rising
forgive me if I lose my mind, but really is that so suprising
I'm hoping that this letter finds you well enough to think about it.
I know it's kind of silly, but I promise that you won't regret it.
It's alright if this thing ends before it even starts
but be aware I'm out for one more girl to break my heart.
Dear Abby, dear Angie, dear Amber, or Amanda
or whatever your name happens to be,
I write you this letter as a sign of my devotion
to whatever might become of you and me
please tell me that I'm not just being optimistic
I've just got a lot of questions on my mind
but don't be scared, just read on: I don't think that I'm creepy
I just took to many hits back in my prime
I'm not being alruistic, there's just not much truth today
and it seems like the sky is getting darker with every passing day.
(Chorus)
I'm hoping that this letter finds you well enough to think about it.
I know it's kind of silly, but I promise that you won't regret it.
It's alright if this thing ends before it even starts
but be aware I'm out for one more girl to break my heart.
I'm funny, I'm sexy, I'm nice, and I'm in college
but don't let that put you off to me
don't be paranoid, I only stalked that one girl
for the money that she never gave to me
I'm not in over my head; the water's barely rising
forgive me if I lose my mind, but really is that so suprising
I'm hoping that this letter finds you well enough to think about it.
I know it's kind of silly, but I promise that you won't regret it.
It's alright if this thing ends before it even starts
but be aware I'm out for one more girl to break my heart.
live your life
be who you are and stick to what you are
because who you are is special and its who you should be
its in your biological makeup
and if you tend to change your perseptions and outlook
thats not wrong , if you feel , in your heart
(and trust me you will know if its real or not)
a change from what you are or what people believe you to be
dont question it
be happy with who you are and the actions you partake in
and if your judged for your actions
dont listen
unless of coarse the person judging you is directly affected
im not one to talk
i havent been honest
but
ive learned from passed on perseptions and i changed my life and how i led it
because i enjoyed the change , i wanted to be the person i changed into
but when the daily influence is taken away
so is the filter of your own perseptions
so what ive done is applied learned perseptions to my own
sure i do things that dont sound right in story
but who are you to judge if you arent there to experience me going about my daily life
who are you to judge if you dont ask me about my life and how it is
i maintain my perseptions and the perseptions i learned
ask me a question or have a conversation with me
if you knew me a year ago
our conversation will surprise you
the fact of the matter is
we change for others
peerpresure is a bitch
but we still hold true to our own morals and perseptions ,
if they are true in our hearts
be open minded and listen with full attention
to what others say about their life and their minds
im sorry that i have lied
but dont judge my lifestyle
if your not around to see how i lead my life
because who you are is special and its who you should be
its in your biological makeup
and if you tend to change your perseptions and outlook
thats not wrong , if you feel , in your heart
(and trust me you will know if its real or not)
a change from what you are or what people believe you to be
dont question it
be happy with who you are and the actions you partake in
and if your judged for your actions
dont listen
unless of coarse the person judging you is directly affected
im not one to talk
i havent been honest
but
ive learned from passed on perseptions and i changed my life and how i led it
because i enjoyed the change , i wanted to be the person i changed into
but when the daily influence is taken away
so is the filter of your own perseptions
so what ive done is applied learned perseptions to my own
sure i do things that dont sound right in story
but who are you to judge if you arent there to experience me going about my daily life
who are you to judge if you dont ask me about my life and how it is
i maintain my perseptions and the perseptions i learned
ask me a question or have a conversation with me
if you knew me a year ago
our conversation will surprise you
the fact of the matter is
we change for others
peerpresure is a bitch
but we still hold true to our own morals and perseptions ,
if they are true in our hearts
be open minded and listen with full attention
to what others say about their life and their minds
im sorry that i have lied
but dont judge my lifestyle
if your not around to see how i lead my life
a little puzzle with a great meaning
not really a blog i just want to see if anyone can figure this out
14 15..12 9 13 9 19 18..14 15..2 15 20 14 4 1 17 9 5 18..15 14 12 24..15 2 18 19 1 3 12 5 18.
14 15..12 9 13 9 19 18..14 15..2 15 20 14 4 1 17 9 5 18..15 14 12 24..15 2 18 19 1 3 12 5 18.
light, dark, white, black. Its your choice!
darkness, when put to color
black
light , when put to color
white
put yourself in a room
shut out all the light
its very easy to do
sit in this room
close your eyes
sit in this room
for five
open your eyes
...
there is no difference
vertigo ensues
no conciousness of depth
of width
of length
of distance
it could be endless
it could be confining
yours is the choice to make
but take this into account
if darkness is black
and light is white
they are then complete opposite
and also have the same effect
put yourself now
if such a thing is possible to do
in a room of white
complete
complete as the room of darkness
sit in this room of light
the same effects ensue
vertigo
no width
no length
no depth
but is such a thing so easy to do
anyone can blot out the light
leaving nothing but darkness
some towels under the door
a flick of a switch
and its done
complete darkness
how would someone create
the opposite
in theory it is possible
black and white
opposites
everything is nothing
nothing is everything
its very easy to create darkness
darkness that blots any signs
of anything else
light can do the same
its just not easy
so shut yourself in the dark
its very easy to do
my task is much harder
i intend to do both
black
light , when put to color
white
put yourself in a room
shut out all the light
its very easy to do
sit in this room
close your eyes
sit in this room
for five
open your eyes
...
there is no difference
vertigo ensues
no conciousness of depth
of width
of length
of distance
it could be endless
it could be confining
yours is the choice to make
but take this into account
if darkness is black
and light is white
they are then complete opposite
and also have the same effect
put yourself now
if such a thing is possible to do
in a room of white
complete
complete as the room of darkness
sit in this room of light
the same effects ensue
vertigo
no width
no length
no depth
but is such a thing so easy to do
anyone can blot out the light
leaving nothing but darkness
some towels under the door
a flick of a switch
and its done
complete darkness
how would someone create
the opposite
in theory it is possible
black and white
opposites
everything is nothing
nothing is everything
its very easy to create darkness
darkness that blots any signs
of anything else
light can do the same
its just not easy
so shut yourself in the dark
its very easy to do
my task is much harder
i intend to do both
The end is near ( strong language)
WHAT THE FUCK !!!
why did this have to happen, why didnt i see it coming?! what the hell was i doing that i became so blind to my own actions?! i cant seem to fathom why this has to be. i tried to prevent this did i not? ive sat and brooded over the subject time and time again. ive taken steps to fix this ive tried so very hard, but trying isnt good enough, doing is the only answere.
i sit and i dwell, coming up with solutions to the problem im presently experiencing. no one is awake. no one will answere me. i have to figure this out on my own. unless...
no... i cant ask anymore, id just become annoying, overbearing, needy, and so codependant. and i dont want that, thats not attractive in some eyes. this just sucks so much!!!
im running out of time. what should i do, every second that goes by is a second closer to the end! ok... i take in a long breath and exhale, my nose tingles, but not those cute tingles that make your face turn red in embarassment. no it stings alot...
this is terrible what am i going to do if this ends the way i think it will. i dont think i can go through this again. my senses kick in and im reminded of the empending doom headed this way. i can feel a touch of warmth just under my nose.
okay well lets see, no money... at all, no one is awake, its late, reallly late. i could always wait to talk to someone. oh but i want this fixed now, its killing me!! litarally killing me!! oh so slowly too...
my hand streches out in front of me so i can judge how long i have...
one last time....
i take in a breath and exhale, its nice, very nice... but its the last....
alas i am out of ciggaretts...
:(
why did this have to happen, why didnt i see it coming?! what the hell was i doing that i became so blind to my own actions?! i cant seem to fathom why this has to be. i tried to prevent this did i not? ive sat and brooded over the subject time and time again. ive taken steps to fix this ive tried so very hard, but trying isnt good enough, doing is the only answere.
i sit and i dwell, coming up with solutions to the problem im presently experiencing. no one is awake. no one will answere me. i have to figure this out on my own. unless...
no... i cant ask anymore, id just become annoying, overbearing, needy, and so codependant. and i dont want that, thats not attractive in some eyes. this just sucks so much!!!
im running out of time. what should i do, every second that goes by is a second closer to the end! ok... i take in a long breath and exhale, my nose tingles, but not those cute tingles that make your face turn red in embarassment. no it stings alot...
this is terrible what am i going to do if this ends the way i think it will. i dont think i can go through this again. my senses kick in and im reminded of the empending doom headed this way. i can feel a touch of warmth just under my nose.
okay well lets see, no money... at all, no one is awake, its late, reallly late. i could always wait to talk to someone. oh but i want this fixed now, its killing me!! litarally killing me!! oh so slowly too...
my hand streches out in front of me so i can judge how long i have...
one last time....
i take in a breath and exhale, its nice, very nice... but its the last....
alas i am out of ciggaretts...
:(
Dive in
the crystal clear water rushes over my face
as i dive deeper into outer space
youve got my hand
let go if you want
im swimming ever deeper
hold on tight if you want to be enlightened
i speek not out of experience
for ive never tried so hard to expand and broaden my horizon
ive always said the sky is the limit
ive always told you there are only obstacles
but who am i to preach those words
if i dont test the limit to see if i can go farther
to see if we together can go farther and farther
knowlage and perseption is our gold our diamonds our ruby
and they know no bounds
i want to envision knowlage as a cup
and i want to try to make it overflow
even if it is impossible
i want to see as if i had eyes
all the way around my head
no not that many
just a third eye
my eye of enlightenment
and i want us to both have it
this third eye
this eye of enlightenment
so i may kiss your third eye
and you may kiss mine
i do not speek littarally
and yet i do
it is your job to see what i really mean
or .... rather
take it for what you will
find your own meaning in what i say
and do please let me hear your story
i want to learn of things not taught in schools
i want to learn of things not taught in church
i want to learn of things you find to be true
through your own experiences
let me test your third eye
to see if it stays open to your world
for my eye wishes to speek
to speek to you and just you
as i dive deeper into outer space
youve got my hand
let go if you want
im swimming ever deeper
hold on tight if you want to be enlightened
i speek not out of experience
for ive never tried so hard to expand and broaden my horizon
ive always said the sky is the limit
ive always told you there are only obstacles
but who am i to preach those words
if i dont test the limit to see if i can go farther
to see if we together can go farther and farther
knowlage and perseption is our gold our diamonds our ruby
and they know no bounds
i want to envision knowlage as a cup
and i want to try to make it overflow
even if it is impossible
i want to see as if i had eyes
all the way around my head
no not that many
just a third eye
my eye of enlightenment
and i want us to both have it
this third eye
this eye of enlightenment
so i may kiss your third eye
and you may kiss mine
i do not speek littarally
and yet i do
it is your job to see what i really mean
or .... rather
take it for what you will
find your own meaning in what i say
and do please let me hear your story
i want to learn of things not taught in schools
i want to learn of things not taught in church
i want to learn of things you find to be true
through your own experiences
let me test your third eye
to see if it stays open to your world
for my eye wishes to speek
to speek to you and just you
be still and listen
just a bottle of water and some bread.
no phone
no wallet
no keys
i wont be needing those
no i want to sevre myself from material things today
today
i need to think
no
i want to think
but not so simply
you see im going to a place only i know of
off the path made from concrete
no sign of man for miles
i dont know why not
nor do i want man to find this celestial vista
it really is a beutiful place
but i dont know that because i looked or saw it
no
"i can hear it"
all of it
everything
the water rolling over the rocks
the wind moving effortlessly through the trees
a twig snaps
a bird chirps
its a robin
thats a starling
and thats a cardinal
and still even more sounds
a hoof pulls across the ground one two three times
i take a deep breath
...
now
exhale
all i can hear is the wind
thats not all there is mind you
its just all i choose to hear at the moment
calmness
the ground where i sit gives just a bit
now i hear the robin
just the robin
now the water
now
nothing...
my mind hits a single note
i chime back in harmony
another note
again in harmony
im finding the answers i need
no phone
no wallet
no keys
i wont be needing those
no i want to sevre myself from material things today
today
i need to think
no
i want to think
but not so simply
you see im going to a place only i know of
off the path made from concrete
no sign of man for miles
i dont know why not
nor do i want man to find this celestial vista
it really is a beutiful place
but i dont know that because i looked or saw it
no
"i can hear it"
all of it
everything
the water rolling over the rocks
the wind moving effortlessly through the trees
a twig snaps
a bird chirps
its a robin
thats a starling
and thats a cardinal
and still even more sounds
a hoof pulls across the ground one two three times
i take a deep breath
...
now
exhale
all i can hear is the wind
thats not all there is mind you
its just all i choose to hear at the moment
calmness
the ground where i sit gives just a bit
now i hear the robin
just the robin
now the water
now
nothing...
my mind hits a single note
i chime back in harmony
another note
again in harmony
im finding the answers i need
Q & A
my mind... i have yet to concure it.
why is such a thing so hard to control, especially when you want to control it desperatly.
the questions of the day, of the week, of eternity pour through my mind with no end in sight. a bottom less cup full of baffeling questions. some more simple than others. yes indeed i can answere alot of my own questions to myself. but most just leave me with an unending train of thought, numorous possibilities and even more outcomes. a question is given, an answere comes, but the answere still poses another question, which receives an answere, and yet another question comes. its like when a child playfully asks "why?" whith every answere given. its not so childish really though. try it... ask yourself a question and answere only to follow with "why?" you will be amazed at how far you get, and how many answeres you already have.
but ... still my mind does not stop, though i may fall asleep i awake with the same train of thought i passed out with. the day winds on, i find monotinous tasks taking all my attention away from my questioning. -a break in task- my mind is suddenly a whirl once again.
it takes everything i have to shush the voices spewing questions to feed their hungry minds. "i must sleep" more questions "i must sleep?" even more... i answere them... but it leads to only more questions. sleep comes ... but not easily. awaken by a very uncomfortble fantasy, my mind sees its opening. "what was that just now?" "why did you envision that?" " does it mean somthing" "do you think there is someone or somthing watching you, judging you? or is that just a book?"
I DONT KNOW!!!!
....
"what should i do....?"
"how can i avoid the pain...?"
the pain makes it real, you feel it therfore somthing caused it.
"i dont want it..."
you cant avoid it unless you close your mind completly, stop caring, do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing... be nothing.
"but nothing is everything... isnt it?"
yes... so why fight it?
"good point"
i sit up, there is no sleep tonight. you can use sleep to escape petty things but not this.
as i pull my knees to my chest i sink deep to the dark corners of the earth, space, and time. i can recall alot when i think like this. like its more important than anything anywhere.
whats wrong?
"i dont know"
is somthing wrong?
"yes... very"
thoughts are fired as though they where loaded into a 12 gauge shot gun and released on my mind.
" i have questions... but i cannot answere them."
ask
"who?"
whomever you think can answere them...
"there is only one who can, that one has no voice right now, that one has questions unanswered as well, but ... probably is getting close to an answere..."
then wait
"i will"
we have so many questions for so many people, though we may feel that a certain person is more qualified to give the answeres... only you have the ability to ask, to tell, to explain your problem... but also you yourself have the ability to find the answere for yourself. dont give up on your questions. always ask. even if your just asking yourself. be warned ... you may not like the answere you recieve. but would you rather live in ignorance?
"would you?"
why is such a thing so hard to control, especially when you want to control it desperatly.
the questions of the day, of the week, of eternity pour through my mind with no end in sight. a bottom less cup full of baffeling questions. some more simple than others. yes indeed i can answere alot of my own questions to myself. but most just leave me with an unending train of thought, numorous possibilities and even more outcomes. a question is given, an answere comes, but the answere still poses another question, which receives an answere, and yet another question comes. its like when a child playfully asks "why?" whith every answere given. its not so childish really though. try it... ask yourself a question and answere only to follow with "why?" you will be amazed at how far you get, and how many answeres you already have.
but ... still my mind does not stop, though i may fall asleep i awake with the same train of thought i passed out with. the day winds on, i find monotinous tasks taking all my attention away from my questioning. -a break in task- my mind is suddenly a whirl once again.
it takes everything i have to shush the voices spewing questions to feed their hungry minds. "i must sleep" more questions "i must sleep?" even more... i answere them... but it leads to only more questions. sleep comes ... but not easily. awaken by a very uncomfortble fantasy, my mind sees its opening. "what was that just now?" "why did you envision that?" " does it mean somthing" "do you think there is someone or somthing watching you, judging you? or is that just a book?"
I DONT KNOW!!!!
....
"what should i do....?"
"how can i avoid the pain...?"
the pain makes it real, you feel it therfore somthing caused it.
"i dont want it..."
you cant avoid it unless you close your mind completly, stop caring, do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing... be nothing.
"but nothing is everything... isnt it?"
yes... so why fight it?
"good point"
i sit up, there is no sleep tonight. you can use sleep to escape petty things but not this.
as i pull my knees to my chest i sink deep to the dark corners of the earth, space, and time. i can recall alot when i think like this. like its more important than anything anywhere.
whats wrong?
"i dont know"
is somthing wrong?
"yes... very"
thoughts are fired as though they where loaded into a 12 gauge shot gun and released on my mind.
" i have questions... but i cannot answere them."
ask
"who?"
whomever you think can answere them...
"there is only one who can, that one has no voice right now, that one has questions unanswered as well, but ... probably is getting close to an answere..."
then wait
"i will"
we have so many questions for so many people, though we may feel that a certain person is more qualified to give the answeres... only you have the ability to ask, to tell, to explain your problem... but also you yourself have the ability to find the answere for yourself. dont give up on your questions. always ask. even if your just asking yourself. be warned ... you may not like the answere you recieve. but would you rather live in ignorance?
"would you?"
The Tide
i can feel the tide washing over my feet, i dont know why such a thing is comforting. it washes ever closer whith every minute that goes by, covering up the footsteps from the day. why does the ocean want the traces of a visitor to just disapear. its selfish really. ocean you have so many secrets as it is, what lies in the depths beyond our knowlage. whats so important ... or dangerous that you want only dolphins and whales to know?
the tide... in out ... in out... in out ... closer and closer... its at my waist now , and ive yet to find my answere. cluching my knees i inhale and relax. some find it hard to think with such massive and repetituous noise begging for the attention of the world. but its ok, you see we live on this planet as we have come to call earth, it holds the secrets of life itself. in rock, in soil, its in the very air that we breath. but things have caused chaos in this world, confusion, misconstrued infromation. one person beleives he is right, beleives he has the answere to all questions. but... everyone is different. sure we have things in commen. but we are in every way down to our genetic make up ... different. i like that. i like that alot.
but my thoughts, my perseptions, my dreams, my fantasies, my voice is not for me alone. my ears are open to new worlds, worlds that cannot be seen. behind our eyes and between our ears is where these worlds exist. and i want so hard to explain its existence. but i cannot reach everyones world. nor do i want so desperatly to do so. no ... only to those who ask and truly want to endulge in question and answere with me and my world. those who want to listen can , and those who want to walk just for awhile before picking up a sea shell and moving on can.
my question?
the answere im looking for?
who is going to sit with me on this beach of existence....
who will stay till the tide comes in to our necks....
keeping the spot i sit in the sand safe from the tide, you may sit beside me in your own spot in the sand...
for that is your world behind your eyes ...
but you will always have me there...
close enough to hear my thoughts over the roar of the tide...
and i the same to listen to your thoughts ....
i know why such a thing is comforting, i have my plan... and it is always changing, just like the tide...
and when the tide leaves we can always walk a little, find a sea shell and bring it back to our spot in the sand.
so then where is your spot in the sand, and do you protect it from the tide. keeping it safe so it doesnt wash away.
ill come and join you if you want me to
ill always have my spot in the sand... but i want to know your spot as well
your world has always intrigued me ... lets see if mine intruges you
and just like the ocean ... my world knows no bounds.
the tide... in out ... in out... in out ... closer and closer... its at my waist now , and ive yet to find my answere. cluching my knees i inhale and relax. some find it hard to think with such massive and repetituous noise begging for the attention of the world. but its ok, you see we live on this planet as we have come to call earth, it holds the secrets of life itself. in rock, in soil, its in the very air that we breath. but things have caused chaos in this world, confusion, misconstrued infromation. one person beleives he is right, beleives he has the answere to all questions. but... everyone is different. sure we have things in commen. but we are in every way down to our genetic make up ... different. i like that. i like that alot.
but my thoughts, my perseptions, my dreams, my fantasies, my voice is not for me alone. my ears are open to new worlds, worlds that cannot be seen. behind our eyes and between our ears is where these worlds exist. and i want so hard to explain its existence. but i cannot reach everyones world. nor do i want so desperatly to do so. no ... only to those who ask and truly want to endulge in question and answere with me and my world. those who want to listen can , and those who want to walk just for awhile before picking up a sea shell and moving on can.
my question?
the answere im looking for?
who is going to sit with me on this beach of existence....
who will stay till the tide comes in to our necks....
keeping the spot i sit in the sand safe from the tide, you may sit beside me in your own spot in the sand...
for that is your world behind your eyes ...
but you will always have me there...
close enough to hear my thoughts over the roar of the tide...
and i the same to listen to your thoughts ....
i know why such a thing is comforting, i have my plan... and it is always changing, just like the tide...
and when the tide leaves we can always walk a little, find a sea shell and bring it back to our spot in the sand.
so then where is your spot in the sand, and do you protect it from the tide. keeping it safe so it doesnt wash away.
ill come and join you if you want me to
ill always have my spot in the sand... but i want to know your spot as well
your world has always intrigued me ... lets see if mine intruges you
and just like the ocean ... my world knows no bounds.
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