Monday, December 14, 2009

The end is near ( strong language)

WHAT THE FUCK !!!
why did this have to happen, why didnt i see it coming?! what the hell was i doing that i became so blind to my own actions?! i cant seem to fathom why this has to be. i tried to prevent this did i not? ive sat and brooded over the subject time and time again. ive taken steps to fix this ive tried so very hard, but trying isnt good enough, doing is the only answere.
i sit and i dwell, coming up with solutions to the problem im presently experiencing. no one is awake. no one will answere me. i have to figure this out on my own. unless...
no... i cant ask anymore, id just become annoying, overbearing, needy, and so codependant. and i dont want that, thats not attractive in some eyes. this just sucks so much!!!
im running out of time. what should i do, every second that goes by is a second closer to the end! ok... i take in a long breath and exhale, my nose tingles, but not those cute tingles that make your face turn red in embarassment. no it stings alot...
this is terrible what am i going to do if this ends the way i think it will. i dont think i can go through this again. my senses kick in and im reminded of the empending doom headed this way. i can feel a touch of warmth just under my nose.
okay well lets see, no money... at all, no one is awake, its late, reallly late. i could always wait to talk to someone. oh but i want this fixed now, its killing me!! litarally killing me!! oh so slowly too...
my hand streches out in front of me so i can judge how long i have...

one last time....

i take in a breath and exhale, its nice, very nice... but its the last....

alas i am out of ciggaretts...
:(

No comments:

Post a Comment