Q & A

my mind... i have yet to concure it.

why is such a thing so hard to control, especially when you want to control it desperatly.

the questions of the day, of the week, of eternity pour through my mind with no end in sight. a bottom less cup full of baffeling questions. some more simple than others. yes indeed i can answere alot of my own questions to myself. but most just leave me with an unending train of thought, numorous possibilities and even more outcomes. a question is given, an answere comes, but the answere still poses another question, which receives an answere, and yet another question comes. its like when a child playfully asks "why?" whith every answere given. its not so childish really though. try it... ask yourself a question and answere only to follow with "why?" you will be amazed at how far you get, and how many answeres you already have.

but ... still my mind does not stop, though i may fall asleep i awake with the same train of thought i passed out with. the day winds on, i find monotinous tasks taking all my attention away from my questioning. -a break in task- my mind is suddenly a whirl once again.

it takes everything i have to shush the voices spewing questions to feed their hungry minds. "i must sleep" more questions "i must sleep?" even more... i answere them... but it leads to only more questions. sleep comes ... but not easily. awaken by a very uncomfortble fantasy, my mind sees its opening. "what was that just now?" "why did you envision that?" " does it mean somthing" "do you think there is someone or somthing watching you, judging you? or is that just a book?"

I DONT KNOW!!!!

....


"what should i do....?"

"how can i avoid the pain...?"

the pain makes it real, you feel it therfore somthing caused it.

"i dont want it..."

you cant avoid it unless you close your mind completly, stop caring, do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing... be nothing.

"but nothing is everything... isnt it?"

yes... so why fight it?

"good point"

i sit up, there is no sleep tonight. you can use sleep to escape petty things but not this.
as i pull my knees to my chest i sink deep to the dark corners of the earth, space, and time. i can recall alot when i think like this. like its more important than anything anywhere.

whats wrong?

"i dont know"

is somthing wrong?

"yes... very"

thoughts are fired as though they where loaded into a 12 gauge shot gun and released on my mind.

" i have questions... but i cannot answere them."

ask

"who?"

whomever you think can answere them...

"there is only one who can, that one has no voice right now, that one has questions unanswered as well, but ... probably is getting close to an answere..."

then wait

"i will"

we have so many questions for so many people, though we may feel that a certain person is more qualified to give the answeres... only you have the ability to ask, to tell, to explain your problem... but also you yourself have the ability to find the answere for yourself. dont give up on your questions. always ask. even if your just asking yourself. be warned ... you may not like the answere you recieve. but would you rather live in ignorance?

"would you?"